Trust
This work is cyclical.
I’ve been leaning more and more into trust.
I’ve learnt (mostly) to trust my kid. I mostly do. Sometimes I forget. Generally, my kid will tell me when I forget.
Last weekend I did an online writing retreat. I wanted to feel inspired, to write more, maybe find new ways of writing. The below is one thing I wrote during that weekend. About trust.
Trusting herself? That’s a whole massive forest of little branches she is identifying, rooting out the beliefs and how they fit her, then loosing them and finding them again. This work is cyclical.
Emotions moving in her head. Words trying to push out, to be released so not to get stuck.
Can she trust those words? Or is it fear?
Birch tree, standing tall, swaying with the wind. Branches moving. Spine moving. Fluffy cotton candy moving in the sky, with the sky. Soft. Trusting they will do what they need to do.
Can she trust herself? When she’s been taught not to.
Time is cyclical. Time is for her.
She forgets. She remembers.
Some questions I’ve been pondering…
Can I trust my body to feel when I need to rest? When is it inertia kicking in? What’s the difference, and how does that feel in body? What can I do to see or feel the difference?
Is that fear I’m feeling? Or is it a misalignment with my values and what my inner self needs and wants, aligning with who I truly am?
Is that masking? Or is this who I want to be, who I need to be even?
What is safe or what is important to me to share and show in this situation, and what do I not want to share right now? And with whom?
Is that truly what I feel, or is it what society has told me to feel or who to be?
I love the imagery in this. The connection between trust and the tree really resonates. I wrote something that I didn’t end up including in my last post: ‘I trust. Solid, like a tree trunk, unmoving, grounded. I trust.’